Senpai
by Derrot
Summary: Matsuda and Mikami go way back. Insanity. MikamixMatsuda onesided and MatsudaxLight. Spoilers for the end.


**Senpai**

Disclaimer: I do not own _Death Note _or _Aqua Teen Hunger Force_.

Note: Don't let the first few paragraphs fool you. It eventually gets really silly and Mikami becomes out of character (well, maybe not so much… he is insane). This is continuing where my fan comic of the same name left off. You can find it by looking at my profile and clicking on my homepage… it is in my gallery. "Senpai" means "senior" or "upperclassman." "Kami" means "God." "Sakujo" means "Delete." Enjoy!

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Mikami gasped and paused at the name floating above the man's head. _Tota Matsuda! _It had been over ten years since Mikami had last seen him. His hair was cropped shorter and his build more manly… but he could tell the man still held the spirit of a child. Though his heart was filled with conflicting emotions, his responsibilities to Kami's perfect world was more important than past loyalties… right? Too bad they had to end up on the opposite sides. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he wrote the name. "Sakujo."

Everything else went by as a blur. He was so elated after doing his Kami's bidding. Everything would go just as planned.

But it didn't. Near's revelation about the switched notebooks brought him off his high. But not near as much as when Kami said he didn't know him. That hurt. Kami was supposed to look after his sheep. And Matsuda… Matsuda looked just as distraught as he did when he learned Kami was Kira. Matsuda and Mikami stood out from the rest of the people in the warehouse by their shared betrayal… but that wasn't all they shared.

"Senpai," Mikami reached out to the older man.

Matsuda froze, along with everyone else in the warehouse.

Light, the most emotionally unstable person in the room besides his two bitches, was the first to sputter, "You know this guy, Matsuda?" _Hmm… maybe I could somehow pin the blame on Matsuda. Yes. Matsuda knew about the fake notebook and tried to frame me. But everyone knows Matsuda is an idiot. Damn._

"Um…" Matsuda racked his brain. Then he remembered! He just didn't recognize him without the glasses! "You're the little guy with the glasses that used to follow me around all in the time in high school! Teru-kun!" Matsuda shouted cheerfully at remembering the name.

Mikami's eyes sparkled. "You remember me?!"

Matsuda grinned nervously. "Well, it is kind of hard not to. I mean, ever since I stopped those bullies from picking on you, you were like my magnet… You carried my books for me, did my homework for me, made cookies for me on my birthday, rode your bike past my house constantly… Come to think of it, it was actually kind of creep-"

"Oh, Matsuda-senpai, you're still so dumb and lovable!" Mikami, still handcuffed, broke free of Rester and Gevanni's hold and sprinted merrily to Matsuda. Matsuda flinched back as the lawyer snuggled into his chest and purred.

"Mikami, what are you doing?!" Light growled at his lackey.

"At least _someone_ remembers me," Mikami glared icily. Then he returned to rubbing his cheek lovingly against Matsuda. "You were my hero when I was in middle school! You were always there to rescue me from the bullies when they called me a nerdy queer. And you said you loved me!" Mikami snuggled harder into Matsuda.

"As a friend!" Matsuda protested. He turned to Light, "Light-kun, save me!"

"Don't you Light-kun me. I don't see you helping me, _Matsuda-senpai_," Light folded his arms angrily. Bitch #1 was supposed to be dead and Bitch #2 was supposed to take his place. However, Bitch #1 was still alive and Bitch #2 had some sort of romantic history with Bitch #1. What if they hooked up and ditched him? Light could do the math. He was a genius. He would have no more bitches! Not as planned.

Matsuda turned back to his leech. "C'mon, Teru-kun, you're an attractive guy… I'm sure you could find a girlfriend. How about it, buddy?" he tried his best to reason.

But Mikami's eyes only grew wide. "Senpai thinks I'm attractive…!"

Matsuda's eyes narrowed, perturbed. "That's not what I--"

"Does Senpai have a girlfriend?" Mikami blurted.

Matsuda looked shocked, then his eyes darted around suspiciously, landing on Light several times. "No…"

While all that had been going on, Light decided now was time for Plan B. With everyone's attention on Matsuda and Mikami, Light opened his watch. At least they did something right. But Near caught the movement out of the corner of this eye. "He's got a piece of the Death Note!"

Matsuda shoved Mikami off him, brought out his gun, and shot Light's hand, sending his watch and pen flying.

"Senpai, you shot Kami to defend me?!" Mikami shouted excitedly.

Light snapped. "Matsuda, how could you?! Don't you know… I'm carrying your child!" Light grinned inwardly. _I could tell that idiot my gestation period lasts decades and he'd believe me._

Matsuda's gun clanged to the floor.

"Does it hurt, honey?" Matsuda held Light's shot hand and kissed the boo-boo.

"Of course it hurts, asshole. You shot me. Now our baby is probably scared," Light huffed.

"There, there, it will be all right," Matsuda held Light against him and patted his back.

"Matsuda, don't tell me you actually believe him!" Aizawa groaned. "Light is just being an attention whore, as always." _I swear, in some alternate reality there is a show about us. I'm a floating box of fries, Matsuda's a ball of Grade-F meat, and Light's a milkshake._

"Besides," Ide began helpfully. "You can't have babies unless you-" Matsuda flashed him a grin. "You- Oh god." Ide paled. He died a little inside.

"Light is Kira, Matsuda!" Mogi actually spoke up.

"Naughty Light," Matsuda grinned mischievously down at the man in his arms. "Looks like someone's getting a spanking when we get home."

The task force just stood there horrified, except for Aizawa, who just hit his face with his palm.

Meanwhile, Mikami could hardly contain his joy. "_OH MY KIRA! KAMI AND SENPAI IS MY ONE TRUE PAIRING!_"

"Light, I think we better get out of here and get some privacy," Matsuda suggested.

"For once, you're right," Light nodded. They both darted out of the warehouse, with Mikami chasing after them.

"Kami! Senpai! Wait for meeeeee!" he ran after them with the same freaky obsessive face he had when he first entered the warehouse.

"You jerk," Matsuda shouted over his shoulder. "You're the reason I didn't have dates in high school!"

"BUT TERU LOVES YOU!" Mikami shouted happily.

"Oh dear… it's the male version of Misa… _RUN FASTER!_" Light ordered. Both he and Matsuda picked up pace, but Mikami was still gaining on them. Because Mikami works out. It was only a matter of time till he caught up to them.

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Back in the warehouse, Aizawa started for the door with Ide and Mogi following him.

"Mr. Aizawa!" Near shouted. "It's over. They're dead men," he shook his head. "To go after them with that guy chasing them is too dangerous."

Aizawa was about to ignore Near, but then he remembered. Matsuda is immortal. A cute cockroach. He'll survive.

Thus Light and Matsuda spent quite some time being stalked by Mikami. But then they finally accepted him as their pet and settled down and found a pleasant house in the suburbs where Light continued being Kira with what little Death Note sheets he had left hidden and Matsuda waited patiently for Light to give birth to the baby he never had.

THE END.

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Before anyone asks "isn't Misa a bitch"… Light was only thinking of the bitches that matter to him.

And I drew a picture of Light, Aizawa, and Matsuda as the Aqua Teen Hunger Force… it is also on my deviantART account with the Senpai comic!

That was fun to write.


End file.
